it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
