Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.

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(305): View more from Florida

She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.

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(347): View more from New York

k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like

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(850): View more from Florida

Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here

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(646): View more from New York

I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.

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(817): View more from Texas

He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad

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(410): View more from Maryland

He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover

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