The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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