I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
