"it" just moved
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize