Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
