On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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