I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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