This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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