bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
