just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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