I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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