So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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