Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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