...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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