I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
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But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
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Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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