Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
