I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
