I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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