I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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