just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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