I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
