She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
