Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
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She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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