can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
