What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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