I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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