i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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