I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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