As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
