Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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