We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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