did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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