the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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