i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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