I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
