we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
