Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
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no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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