Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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