I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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