So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Randomize
