dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
