its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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