did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
