he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
