he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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