I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
