Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize