508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm both gender and math confused
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Panties = found
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
