nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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