in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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