she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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