okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This is classic penis vs brain.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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