Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
