Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I look better un-naked...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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