Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I cut my penus on the lid.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
