He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
