Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
