i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
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Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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